Wednesday 28 October 2015

HOW TO FIGHT BACK WHEN LIFE THROWS A PUNCH

On Monday my daughter's home was burgled. Luckily she was out at the time, enjoying some Halloween fun during half term. But I feel sick when I think what it must have been like for her, going home and discovering that someone else had been there before her. That there had been forced entry and things taken. Wedding and engagement rings, the watch she had bought her husband and other jewellery that had special meaning. Other things taken belonged to the girls, and the compassionate part of me thinks it sad that someone who would do this might lack the love and stable upbringing that my grand daughters have. Because anyone with any thought for others or sense of justice and morals would not do this to another person.

My heart swells with pride when I think about what an amazing mother
my own daughter is, and my son in law is not only a brilliant father but also her rock at times like this. And that makes it all the more painful that someone should break into their home, and destroy this
safe space. Or could have.  Because it would be so easy to let this awful thing manifest into something bigger. To dwell on the negative rather than the positive. Because both take the same amount of time, and it is how you manage adversity that makes the difference.

And it's times like this you learn who cares and what matters. Their
neighbour proved priceless. After giving hugs, phoning the police and making cups of tea, she cooked dinner for the girls and looked after them so that my daughter and her husband could do what was needed. After the police had taken fingerprints, family turned up to do what they could to help and we took the girls overnight. Next day flowers started to arrive from friends and neighbours down the road.
They have said they will look out for each other more. So many people have sent heart felt wishes and offers of help. And I am so proud of how my daughter and her family have dealt with this. Yes, they are truly shaken. Heartbroken about things taken. And it will probably take time for them to feel safe again in their own home.

They may be winded from the punch, but they know how to fight back.
And the love and support of others is a true help. 

I hadn't planned to share this. But when I woke this morning and thought about what to write I remembered an art exhibition I saw yesterday at The Turner Gallery in Margate.  And the two things became connected.

At first sight the exhibit looked like pieces of metal created as musical instruments. But then I read the story behind these and learnt that the metal came from decommissioned illegal weapons seized by the Mexican government. 



I hadn't seen weapons. And when I looked at the art exhibit again knowing, I had mixed feelings. Because I don't like what these stand for, power, corruption, and living in a way that does not have care or compassion for others. But I looked again with an open mind. 
 
This time I saw a piano 



Cymbals


and percussion


And I love that Pedro Reyes has turned this dark side into something playful and light.  When the instruments played you could not help but pause and enjoy, be fascinated and intrigued. Someone else who is using adversity to the better good. 

And as the sun set in Margate, I reminded myself that there is always a blue sky behind the clouds, you just have to look and believe. And know how to fight back when life throws a punch.





19 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to read this, how horrible for them. It must be awful and it makes me so cross that people think they can do such a thing. Hard too to reassure the children that their home is safe.

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  2. I've been terrible at reading blogs recently - but saw this and had to comment. We too were burgled once, losing precious jewellery, so I empathise with your daughter and her family. Thankfully our children were much, much too young to realise what had happened.
    What a comfort to have such good neighbours though - hoping that a real positive comes out of such a sad experience.

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    1. Thank you Jemma. I'm sorry you once suffered the same experience. We don't hold much hope of the jewellery being recovered although we do know of another incident where the family were reunited, so there is a small glimmer. The main thing is everyone is safe and there could have been a lot more damage and taken. As you say, it is wonderful when neighbours are there when needed.
      People's thoughts and gestures have been heart warming and such a comfort to my daughter and her family. Thank you for taking time to add your own Jemma. x

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  3. This is quite an emotional post. So sorry for what happened and kudos for raising such a fine woman.

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    1. Thank you Betty. Your kind words mean a lot.

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  4. Sorry to hear about your daughter's burglary. Not nice. How good she has so many friends and family to help.

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  5. Julie Kirk has left a new comment on your post "HOW TO FIGHT BACK WHEN LIFE THROWS A PUNCH":

    I'm pretty sure, by the sounds of things, that your daughter is coping so well because she grew up with a thoughtful Mum! We had our garage broken into in the summer while we weer in London and that felt bad enough - I'm so thankful they didn't get into the house. Wishing things settle down for your family and that they can move on.

    As for your decommissioned weapons- I ought to show you the art I spotted in London made from the same sort of thing. It won't surprise anyone to hear there were zebras involved too ... I'll dig the photo out for you sometime!

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    1. My daughter never ceases to amaze me Julie, how she copes with adversity. She worked as a nanny before having her own children and one baby she cared for died as result of cot death. She not only managed her own feelings in a healthy way (by grieving and acknowledging the loss) but also offered practical help and support the family. Hopefully she will cope with this too and be able to put it behind her. It's early days but luckily she has good support networks and friends. Thank you for your kind words Julie and sorry to hear about your own garage break in. I'm glad your home remained untouched.
      Yes! I'd love to see your art involving zebras. You've got me wondering now!

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  6. Linda has left a new comment on your post "HOW TO FIGHT BACK WHEN LIFE THROWS A PUNCH":

    So sorry to hear about your daughter's burglery. I always think the worst bit is knowing someone else has been into your house. Sounds like she has loads of support, how wonderful that her neighbours are so good! Those sculptures are amazing! I can see how you find a link between them and your daughter's experience. ((HUGS)) X

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    1. Thank you Linda. It's times like these you learn how many friends you have, and how neighbours and family rally to help. It is a blessing and we are truly grateful.

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  7. Louise H has left a new comment on your post "HOW TO FIGHT BACK WHEN LIFE THROWS A PUNCH":

    We have had 3 attempted break ins - luckily our alarm scared them off each time, but it still left broken windows, doors etc to deal with. The second time we were on holiday. Our fantastic neighbours boarded up the house and a local church said prayers for us ... even though we were complete strangers to them. We held on to this love and warmth from 'unknown friends', rather than the unpleasant emotions from the attempted break ins. We do now have railings and high gates across the front of our property which we padlock when out!
    The instruments made from such sorrow and evil must have been quite moving - although a shiver runs down my spine when I contemplate what they may have been used for.
    Thanks for sharing another touching story. PS you have inspired me to do 30 days myself!

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    1. Sorry to hear about your own attempted break ins Louise. 3 times unlucky. Thank goodness for caring and resourceful neighbours. It is people like these that help remind us there are lots more good people than those out to destroy and cause grief. I hope your railings and high gates give some reassurance when you are away now.
      The art was powerful - it still makes me cold when I think of the weapons. Even though they are altered and now something playful and light, the image of them and what they represent remains stark and sinister.
      Good luck with 30 days! I look forward to following you and cheering you on!

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  8. I was shocked to read about your daughters break in and can't imagine the distress this has caused her and the children. I can't think what it would be like to handle something like this alone and knowing that you are there for her as well as other friends and neighbours must lift some of the grief and anxiety she must have been feeling when she walked in to her home. Sending hugs via you Sandie.
    As for the guns, well they just look so aggressive even in their altered state that I can't imagine coming face to face with one in a volatile situation!
    Loving your blog posts Sandie. xx

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    1. Thank you Kerry. I know what you mean about the guns, I still found them very disturbing even after I understood what the artist had done. That's why I felt a connection, because it leaves a stark image and feeling. Much like the burglary. It's important to keep perspective at times like these and the power of support and care shown by friends, family and neighbours is strengthening and reaffirming that there are many good people out there. Thank you for your kind and supportive words, they are much appreciated x

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  9. I am sad to read this, Sandie, and it's a testament to her own upbringing with you that she and her family are making their way through this ... And isn't it good that such an event will bring out the best in people around them? I have tried hard with your photos, I really have. And admired his thinking and skill. But they still make me feel sick, alas.

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    1. I know what you mean Alexa, because weapons, what ever you do with them, make me feel sick too. They are destructive and aggressive, I think that is why I saw a connection between this art work and the burglary. You can change what you see (all the flowers look beautiful in my daughters room) but they don't take away that this personal space was violated.

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  10. I'm so very sorry to hear about this. It's heartwarming to hear how everyone has rallied round; but, still..Maybe the fingerprints will turn something up. It would be wonderful if they were caught and stopped. Wouldn't you just love to stare them straight in the face and ask "would you like it if someone did it to you?"

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