Instead my head is racing, flitting from this to that. The list of things I need or want to do.
Sometimes I wish my life was more simple. I wonder what it would be like to have a tidy home? A routine and 9-5 job where you leave on time and have just a short journey to and from. An organised craft space where I could just go to when I want to create. Instead... my head buzzes with ideas and tasks. It feels relentless lately. My home and creative space reflect that - there is a mess everywhere I look.
I take stock. The sun is shining as I sit here at the computer. Before this, I sat with one of my journals, a list book where I try to organise my mind and my day. It usually works well. Sometimes I set times for tasks, leave them unfinished when the allocated time is up. Move on. Make headway. My heart is still beating faster than usual. Adrenalin. I know today is just 'one day' and there is much I want to achieve. Ironing, car insurance to sort, making kits for a book making class I am teaching in 2 weeks . I immediately think of my cabin. This weekend I achieved a lot. Even more than I imagined I could. But it is left unfinished. Time ran out and inside the door there is disarray. I smile. There is a familiarity....
I look around my computer. Clear the other day... part of my sweep of paper and clutter. Some of it lies on the floor in another room, waiting to be filed or organised. I sigh, then catch myself. I remember the recycling sack, bulging with paper and so heavy I have to drag it rather than lift. I need to take some out and start a second bag. A reminder of my achievement. There will be more paper... lots more paper to throw. Enough to fill the second bag if I am focused today.
My mind flits from one thing to the other. A phone call I must make to a friend. She is on a 6 weeks stay in UK and returns to Australia next week. Her schedule is as tight as my own. We plan a second meeting this Saturday. I am excited, feel myself breaking into a smile when I think about seeing her. Soul mates separated by too many miles. Melanie has also discovered a love of creativity and we share ideas and photos of our work. I am sad we can not have play days, sit at a table together. Another sigh... again I catch myself... remember the internet. How this brings us together and fills the gap. I think that I must experiment with Skype. It is downloaded but I have never tried it. The thought of spending more time learning how to do something is daunting. But sometimes, I remind myself, it is in a good cause and I know I will be so glad of it.
I think back again to my list. My heart is beating calmer now. I look around my desk top. It is nothing I can't cope with, small steps I tell myself. The computer is buzzing. I don't like the noise but I can shut it off when I am absorbed. I wish I could go for a walk down the river. I picture the water sparkling in the sun. It is the perfect day for being outdoors, but today, I need to be firm with myself. There are things to be done. I need treats to keep my motivation going. A cup of special tea. Rose, I think. I imagine the hot filled mug next to me, the steam lifting a scented fragrance. It inspires me to leave the computer. The back of the house is in shade this time of day. I prefer the front at this hour where the sun streams through and lifts my spirits. But there are things to be done..........
To read other moments or add your own, do visit. And thank you for popping by today.
Please note:
I like to add a photo with my post but today I am keeping things simple so that I can do more.
But I have photos to share very soon...
It sounds as if taking a moment was exactly the right thing for you to do!
ReplyDeleteI am sooo with you. My to-do list in all areas of my life is so long. I am making progress, but the task list is unending. Oh well, I just keep moving and doing and enjoy my accomplishments (creative, work, cleaning, etc.). Today, it's 15 more minutes reading blogs, then half hour in the boy's room, a bit of time at my craft desk, then laundry till it's time to pick up the girl from school and off to volunteer work!
ReplyDeleterinda
life is busy Sandie I know what you are saying I really should be cleaning or baking right now but as usual I am sitting down and surfing blogs!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful description of how we feel when we have stuff we should do, we want to do and how we make sense of them. Oftentimes we do need to take a moment to make sense of it. You have really resonated with me tonight Sandie, I hope you get your meet up with your australian friend. xxx
ReplyDeleteI am making detailed lists to keep myself on track this summer and to also remind me of accomplishing things when I look at piles and think I have accomplished nothing in months. I downloaded Skype last year and have never used it, let me now how it goes if you do.
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you found the time to fit in a blog!!!! I've not managed that for such a long time. M x
ReplyDeleteI totally know how you feel Sandie - as I am typing this on a table full of stuff that I have had to push to one side to make room for my laptop. I look at my house and think everything is so untidy, even though I had a really good tidy and clean on Sunday. It gets out of hand so quickly but you know what? I look at my family and think "They are happy and contented with their lot" much more valuable than a tidy house. I am sure you can do the same.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sandie, I recognise so much in here, in your wonderfully detailed following of the falll and rise of your thoughts and inner energy. And the being inside in the dark instead of outside in the light speaks volumes to me too. My inner mantra this week is Follow The Light as I try and do as many of my activities and tasks in the brightest part of the house or outside as I can (despite the cold!). The mention of your cabin is intriguing - will there be more? I hope as the days move through the week, your longing for simplicity becomes more satisfied. Thank-you so much for your thoughtful post and linking up this month - I always enjoy your writing :).
ReplyDeleteI love how you write, I fel as I am sitting chatting to you. Skype is easy and you can then craft with friends far away as you both video call, it is so simple just press the call button, connect and of you go...go for it x
ReplyDeletethere always seem to be lists of 'things to do' here too...the first of my Summer visitors arrive in three weeks so I have lots of lists of things to get organised before that!
ReplyDeleteAlison xx
I think whenever I take a moment, the most important thing I do is make that list. It jsut sort of puts thinks in to perspective. Sure, I don't get it all done, but it makes me calmer to just write it. We are all so busy---even if it's fun stuff!
ReplyDeleteI can so empathise with those feelings of having too much to do - - especially on a "day off" - I wonder whey we call it that when we always have so much to fill it!! Thanks for a wonderful piece of writing which pulled me right in. J x
ReplyDelete