She'd noticed the lack of posts since the finish of my 30 Day Blogging Challenge.
Not blogged out... no.
I have a lot of drafts part written, ideas jostling for attention,
and my mind has been restless wanting to get these out. But I have tried to quieten these thoughts because I also have a design team project to make, a Christmas workshop to plan and prepare, and a host of other pressing things. So when my plans changed at the last minute and I found myself with a day I didn't expect, I thought 'GREAT'! And I started to play...
Only it didn't happen. Not in the way I hoped. Somehow my mojo didn't get the message. Or rather, I had SO MANY ideas I didn't know where to start! I adapted the attitude that ideas will come through the process rather than the other way round. But still I found myself flitting from one to another, overwhelmed by so many ideas and materials. I should count myself lucky, I know. And I do. It is wonderful when an idea pops and I can follow through, but gradually the table, chairs, floor, and every workspace around me gets covered. It not only looks chaotic, I feel it too.
I tried pushing though this. When ideas or projects did not turn out as I hope I carried on rather than abandon. Let's face it, sometimes happy accidents can result. Other times I learn from the experience and accept that not every thing will have the outcome I hoped for. And truly, as I write this, a sudden thought comes to me!
A realisation...
This past month I have spent more hours blogging than ever before, and the 30 day challenge involved many hours of analytical thinking and thought processing. It's important to say that I see blogging as a creative activity because I love writing and connecting in this way with others. I do it for entirely for pleasure, but blogging every day occupied much of my thoughts even when I wasn't in front of the computer, and this involved a lot of left brain activity.
No wonder my mojo is missing! It wants to play, not perform! I feel under pressure to create, so why would my creativity want to come out if I am tense and impatient?
So yesterday I stopped what I was doing and went to the cinema.
Being spontaneous can add excitement to life, so while this wasn't exactly adventurous I've never been to the cinema in the afternoon before, so it was not the kind of thing I usually do. It was a great film by the way - A lady with a van. A true story of a lady who lived in a campervan in the driveway of Alan Bennett. I hoped this break might shift something. And today I got back to 'working' on ideas for the workshop and my design team piece. But still my mojo wasn't there.
Now I see why!
My mojo doesn't want to 'work'. I have been too long in left brain and need to reconnect with my right! Sometimes having too much art supplies can be a hindrance and cause overwhelm. Yes! So in an effort to reduce this feeling I will go back and clear away much of what I got out, and just have fun.
Less is more, right?!
And this reminds me of a post I read the other day, where Lain Ehmann said 'inspiration is not enough, its too much'. Right now her words are inspiring me to keep going.
'Instead of piling more into an already clogged conduit when
we're feeling stuck, we need to take the counterintuitive
approach and STOP the input and START the output'.
Lain Ehmann
I'm already doing this, and it's not feeling good. But Lain reminded me that it is important to keep at it, to shut down the inspirational flow and stop looking for ideas.
To just create. At some point after all the false starts she says that the good things will start to emerge. I hope so. I am trusting my intuition and need to stop putting barriers in the way.
So, blogged out? No. Just trying to change gear and find my creativity. What do you do when you can't find yours?
