INVITING ANXIETY!

A Happy New Year to you!!  I hope it has got off to a good start and that you have good things to look forward to.

My head is popping with ideas and plans (as always) and today I am off work.  I considered a day of play and my dining room is raring to go.  Every surface is covered, left from card and gift making, unpacking from my last retreat and crop, and new projects. BUT - my urge was to be creative in a different way. I have 2 bedrooms and a cabin that have lost floors and surfaces. Believe it or not I am a home-maker, though my long hours of paid work leave me little energy or time left to have the home I want and once had. They have become dumping ground for everything we don't know where to put. And so this morning instead of surrounding myself with paper and glue and pretty things I have rolled up my sleeves and waded in to the small bedroom.  There are so many books I don't know what to do with. Many are my children's, once much loved and fondly remembered. I kept them for grand children but they too have so many books. I can be grateful for this love being passed on but they also do not have room for more. And so I need to make big decisions, what to keep, pass on, or take to charity shops. And if it were just books, perhaps the room would not be so cluttered. But I also have my Dad's LP's and other treasured belongings. Most we have parted with, but some are hard.  He died in 2008 so it really is time to make decisions.

"WHEN YOU ARE TO CREATE, YOU MUST INVITE ANXIETY IN"

                            Eric Maisel

I need my home and space back. I need to tread slowly but I need to make progress this year.  

 

"IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE CREATIVE

YOU MUST FIRST COME ALIVE"

Eric Maisel

 

I DO AND I WILL.

 

So right now it is time to get back.  It's not all work and no play though.  My friend Jill is coming round this evening so I have that to look forward to. It's always good to have a goal!   

 

CHRISTMAS WRAPPED UP

It was a different kind of celebration for us this year.  To start, we were on our own and I don't remember a time when it has just been the two of us. But that was okay as an opportunity to play it down was welcome after living in the fast line for so long and with the run up to Christmas added. I didn't even get round to putting up decorations this year. It felt a bit bah-humbug but we were not expecting visitors and as I have so much around the house I want to achieve I decided the time spent putting decorations up and down could be put to better use.

So holding true to my plan for Christmas day I had a shower and put on my new fluffy fleece robe and slippers.  And I did little else except open presents, relax, and cook dinner for two. We had decided on an alternative to turkey and I chose a recipe from my new Jamie Oliver cookbook 'Save with Jamie'. We love roast pork with it's crisp crackling, and this recipe was a new take on a favourite. It didn't disappoint.

I also indulged in another favourite pastime, relaxing in front of the TV and catching up with films and favourite programmes.  Kirsty's Crafty Christmas was one that I watched and I loved the pom-pom maker that she demonstrated. Sadly I have been online and everywhere is sold out.  That's not surprising but I have made a note to remind myself to look again in a week or so. Obviously other people liked the look of these too!

While watching TV I suddenly heard a robin. He was sitting right outside the window and a big smile crossed my face.  My Dad always joked that he would come back as a robin and at his funeral one of these beautiful birds made its presence very known as we climbed back into the cars, ready to leave. We had already made our visit to the cemetery with wreaths and memories but this robin was another warm reminder of those who are not here to share this festive time.

Boxing Day was also a favourite kind of day, surrounded by family. Summer received the karaoke machine she hoped for and spent much of the time singing. I am always amazed that she knows the words to so many songs, and her just-three year old sister is fast in her shoes. We were highly entertained and kept amused.

In the run up to Christmas we spent a wonderful day at a local RHS garden. They had arranged a barn full of craft activities for children as well as story telling and meeting Father Christmas. Now this was the most wonderful experience of all, and a moment I will always treasure. And so I was devastated afterwards to delete my memory card without downloading the video and photos to my computer! I have never done this before and was so annoyed with myself, it just showed the pressure I was under at the time. Luckily I had saved a couple of my favourite photos onto the Playstation and have since learnt that my daughter also took a video of Father Christmas. So I can make a copy. Phew!! I will save the story of this meeting for another time, meanwhile I hope your own Christmas has been restful, and just as you would have chosen. Sometimes it is important just to be where you need to be, regardless of expectation and time of year.

Summer with one of her cats.